Have you ever had one? An ultrasound, that is.
The test itself is a cinch, but interpreting gestures of the ultrasound technician who’s doing the test is another story…
She’s leaning in. Why is she leaning in? Does she see something unusual? That can’t be good. Did she just raise her brow? Her brow definitely raised. She’s pausing. A pause can’t be good. Now she’s squinting. Squinting and brow raising. Are you kidding me? What does this mean?!
As if that wasn’t terrifying enough, she then leaves the room. I’ll be right back, she said, suspiciously, if you ask me. It began to feel like I was in cardiology having a stress test. I was certain she went to get a radiologist to look at whatever horrible thing she found, along with arranging for my admission.
The screen was actually in full view so I took a look. Wait, is that shadow suppose to be there? That doesn’t look right. How about the jagged thing over there? I can’t imagine a jagged anything is normal.
She returns with the explanation of I had to refill the goop container. Sure, sure, nice cover-up. Oh, if you never had this test, they squirt goop on your skin to do an ultrasound. Anyway, she continued with deep breath, hooold it, breathe. Deep breath, hooold it, breathe.
In between a “hooold it and breathe” I asked how it’s going. My tech said, it’s against policy to tell you anything, the doctor will get in touch. What! She was looking right at the jagged thing and couldn’t even tell me if I needed emergency surgery?
More, click, click stare, click, squint, click, click brow crinkle and now a sigh. SIGH! No, no, no, there should be no sighing. Ultrasound Techs should never, ever, EVER sigh!
Finishing up she instructed me to get dressed, and exit out the door on the right. I was dumbfounded they were actually sending me home. Unbelievable in my condition. Does that mean it’s beyond hope? Do they need time to call in a specialist to review the results?
That began the wait for the doctor to “get in touch”. After a two year wait (ok, two day) he called.
With pen and paper in hand ready to write down every detail of his findings, it turned out I only wrote two words…everything’s normal. Gazing at the paper in disbelief, the realization that I’m actually fine slowly permeated my brain. After all the leaning, and squinting, brow raising and especially the sigh…I WAS FINE!
AND, I now see how this works. KEEP EYES CLOSED during ultrasounds. Got it!