What the heck is that?!
A constant question from today’s Grandparents as they struggle to learn the “new ropes” for today’s babies. I certainly expected some things to change in 30 years time, but it now seems everything we did back then is considered ancient practice.
Take the swaddle; what used to be a small blanket turned to create a triangle at the top, is now a specially designed straight jacket-like contraption. There’s more areas of Velcro to connect than NASA’s space suits. Took me 15 exhaustive tries to apply it right. Once I got it on, if an arm popped out too bad, it stayed out.
Babies also now sleep with piped in white noise from a little noise making machine. We used to do this by running vacuum cleaners, just saying. Their sleeping environment must also be free of bumper pads, blankets, and the cute little teddy bear their Grandma bought. Not that I’m holding a grudge…
Of course, that’s after you cover the “Five S’s”, another new invention for putting babies to sleep. It means swaddle, side, shush, sway, suck. Clever, right? My husband shushhhed and held a bottle with a specially engineered nipple, while I maintained a swaying, side swaddle to get our grandson to sleep one night. We felt like a circus act. After 45 minutes we gave up, sat in the rocker, stuck a knuckle in his mouth, and tried the song from our camp counselor days that worked with our kids…he conked right out. Shushhhh, don’t tell.
Tummy Time is also new for those of us that had their babies in the 80’s. Since today’s little loves are not allowed to sleep on their stomachs, parents have to build time into the day to give the back of their head a break. It’s best if babies lay on something with educational pictures on it, this way if they catch a glimpse they can learn something.
Today’s babies are given an opportunity to learn something 24/7.
I’m not sure what the $25.00 rubber giraffe teaches them, but every baby must now have one. This giraffe is so popular that it’s widely recognized by just it’s first name, like Oprah or Ellen.
For diaper changes there’s a new device called the “Bum Brush”. I know, I know, what the heck is that?! Don’t worry, it’s not how it sounds. It’s a little, rubber spatula type gadget to apply the white, sticky diaper cream instead of using your fingers.
Being a team player I tried it, and it did indeed keep my fingers clean. But then the Bum Brush slipped out of my hand and fell to the floor smearing diaper cream down my shirt, pants and shoes on it’s way. Count this as my notice; I quit Team Bum Brush!
The walkers don’t walk, the cups don’t spill, and playpens are now big snap together squares with colorful, interactive activities on each one. It’s, of course, placed on top of something educational. When I laid inside it with my granddaughter and looked up, I imagined this is what Alice In Wonderland must feel like.
I will say, this generation has nailed the bootie falling off the foot issue. They’ve come up with one that wraps around the baby’s ankle, more Velcro, and it really does stay on. Genius! Kudos guys!
I was, however, able to share some wisdom that I’m confident will never be obsolete. Such as; the baby will stop crying eventually, and you’ll hardly ever know why they cried or why they stopped.